EMBRACE the stuck: 4 ways to change your mind

Step #1 - Getting unstuck starts now

No one tells you that someday your world is going to collapse.

The whole enchilada — everything you’ve built — will implode. Maybe it happens quietly: a seeping gas of uncertainty that maybe you’ve missed an exciting exit and your career (marriage, parenting, etc) is deflating, feeling like you’re stalling out. Maybe it feels like it’s happening to you: your partner cheats, you get fired, your kids turn sullen, your parents get old and needy, draining all your energy. Or maybe you trip into a calamitous fall from grace of your own making. Oooops.

Whatever road you take, stuck sucks.

Especially for smart people used to being, well, smart. Go-getters used to getting ahead.

And now….you’re here.

Reading a post by a stranger who is weirdly happy that you’ve arrived. 🤓

Getting started: Step #1

I am glad you’re here. I know it’s hard and I know stuck sucks. Most people get stuck and stay stuck — going through three phases till they are Fucked-Stuck.

But I hope you’ll choose differently.

I hope you get the fuck out of stuck.

If that sounds good, come with me on a roadtrip.

Your choice.

You’re already here ….. Step #1: Embrace the Stuck.

I know that sounds crazy. Embrace the stuck??? Wtf.

But here are the four things to think about if you really really want to get the fuck out of stuck and find your happy.

#1. Stuck is a gift.

Stuck feels awful. No one wants to pack their precious career into a cardboard box and enter the uncertain twilight of wtf is next.

But that’s only one way to think about it.

Stuck is an invitation.

It’s a wake-up call.

It’s the gift you didn’t know you needed.

My advice? Be grateful for all of those awful stuck feelings that are making you miserable. They are saving your bacon for better things.

#2. Stuck is a state of mind.

And you can change your mind.

Easy for me to say, right? I’m not grinding my teeth all night. But I did. For years.

So I don’t say this glibly.

Stuck is a state of mind. It’s a reflection of what you’ve been thinking about and focusing on. And you can change your mind. That the good news. Great news, in fact.

The bad news is that there is probably a shit-ton of invisible crap that you’re thinking about that you have no idea you’re thinking about. Cue the Jungians.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

— Carl Jung

My two cents: you have work to do.

Even if you’re “smart” and think you’ve got this stuff all figured out. With simple strategies, honest commitment and yes, hard work, I think you’re going to be surprised at what you find lurking and that you are going to want to exchange plenty of old stuff for newly-discovered stuff that you feels more like you anyways.

#3. Stuck is your own journey.

Look, I don’t like the word “journey.” It’s hackney. A cliche on par with Live-Love-Laugh. But in this case, it fits.

Feeling stuck is so disorienting that we want to grab onto something! anything! anyone! to pull us out of the swamp and get back onto our familiar terra firma.

We want out! out! out!

But the answer is in, in, in.

Two-thousand years ago, Lao Tzu said it best:

At the very center of your being, you have the answer.

You know who are and you know what you want.

—Lao Tzu

That probably feels like an annoying, inscrutable koan right about now.

“You know who you are.”

“You know what you want.”

“You have the answer.”

Fuck you, right?

I hear you. I get it. I did not say this roadtrip was going to be easy. Lots of people will bail. And that’s OK. You can bail, too. No worries.

If you decide to stick around, you are embarking on a journey. Getting unstuck, getting out of your personal hellscape and finding your happy groove is an evolution. It’s a process. There is no speed dial. No Door Dash. No one brings you your answers. Because only you have the answer.

Don’t worry if that sounds confusing. I am here to play the role of guide, helping you dig deep and figure out your own answer. You can and you will.

#4. Stuck is the start of your renaissance.

Seriously.

I’ve been down this road before and I’ve learned a thing or two. Yes, it is ugly, but I’d never want to go back to my pre-implosion days. Not a chance.

And, thankfully, I love this stuff. I love researching, geeking out 🤓, tracking down the “best of the best” experts, finding answers, seeing what really works and I can honestly say this weird slippery patch is a strangely good thing. You’re not alone. You’re in great company.

There is a ton of great stuff waiting for you — a whole ROADMAP stocked with a millennia of insights, practices, wisdom traditions from ancient to modern, perspectives from science and spiritual — worthy of your time and attention to get you through, get you out of hell and into your own kind of happy.

I’m so glad you’re here. I hope you stick around.

Embrace the Stuck

1. Make sure you’re subscribed.

2. Sign up for the FINDING HAPPY podcast. (NEW episodes starting January)

3. Invite a friend. The general direction is the same, but everyone’s journey (barf) is uniquely their own. Plus, there’s strength in numbers.

Ready for more?

Step#2 is Just GET GOING…..the itsy-bitsy practice that can change your life. 3 steps. 30 seconds. Easy peasy.

Who is driving….

Hey. I’m Anne Alexander. So glad you are here. I’ve weathered my own share of stuck “dark nights” and am immensely grateful to have found happier, butterfly days. “Woman of depth”, I love diving in deep, sharing treasure.

• Author of two New York Times bestsellers, Editor of Prevention (twice), Editorial Director of National Geographic, Content Director for Mindful

• Single-mother of three beloveds 💗💗💗 who are now adulting-ish

• Interfaith minister - open, curious, with respect for all

• Traveler - always and everywhere

• AND now podcaster - Sharing the SOUL PRACTICE for daily peace, purpose & power

Where you tune in to you

For a preview, check out the ROADMAP.

And just know: Yes, you can. Yes yes yes and yes.